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death – redreturn

1.nobody understands me, dar oare ma inteleg eu?

2. thank you television, you make me waste my life bearable. I just hope there is no God for if there is I’ll just spend eternity in hell.
now I just wait for my family to die so I could either go to a monastery or just become a vagabond. Now I can’t I just need to maintain appearances. For them.
i love television and how it makes me feel that i do thing and that i have a life.

3. you can do whatever you want as long as you obey my rules.

4. I hate entertainment – life is not about emotional gymnastics.

5. i could not become a normal one, and not a weird one either.

6. i was decided that i will not waste my life as my father did, and my mother too. and now that i waste it, i can only try not to have children so i would just kill this useless family.

7. i always want and make everything to be the last one.

8. being human means to know how to lie and to act like actors accordingly to the situation. i cant lie that is my only fault. and i cant live in a world where lying is natural and normal. our society its getting constructed around our capacity to lie.
i cant lie.
but i cant either tell any kind of truth

9. human being means playing games; with winners and losers, with broken hearts and greedy winners.

10. i hate humans that is why i like you.

11. humans are thrill seekers.

12. sint nazist, sint comunist, sint pedofil, sint las, sint ochelarist, sint impotent, sint homosexual, sint misogin, sint antisemit,

13. sint un copil facut din datorie.

14. human natural needs contrasts, that is why arouse the good and bad. people need them both. for they never known that there is a third path. a middle path.

15. my world is ugly,
my world is beautiful,
there is no world on its own.

I’ve lost my Awareness completely – it made me drop inside my mind. Become insane. Only mechanical instincts work now.
Awarenss of the Body – of its place in Space – and its place in Time

am 28 de ani
sint un om trist si penibil
un om moale si neatent

i do not want to eat, to drink, or breath
to hear, to see to smell
to rationalize, to reason, to think
to imagine, to dream
to like or dislike

life is just a desire

nu ma pot accepta asa cum sint
nu pot, imi e frica, nu pot, sa fac nimic

nu am cum ajuta oamenii cu nimic
iar singur in natura as muri imediat

nu pot muri
nu pot trai